Dell sucks!

As you may know, I've had another career: I run a research company that focuses on fundraising for non-profit organizations. Basically, when charities are looking for money and need research, my firm is the best in the business.

Recently, I've been victimized by a big company and I'd like to protect my funny fans from the same abuse.

In 1997, I bought my first laptop. Running it side by side against a Micron desktop, I became a true Dell fan because of their generally superior tech support. As you know, most tech support works as follows: Software companies blame hardware companies, hardware companies blames ISPs and customers get caught in the middle. For years, Dell's techies didn't play those games and my laptop consistently outperformed my desktop.

So when it came time to buy two new computers in 2002, I chose Dell. I purchased two, theoretically state of the art, laptops-Inspiron 8200s- for about $9,000. I purchased every extended warranty possible. I maintained the systems in pristine condition, with all appropriate virus scans, firewalls and routine maintenance.

Over a six month period, here's what I got

One hard drive died on one machine;

Windows had to be reinstalled 5 times on the second machine;

A "thread" error on Windows so complex, that no one at Microsoft or Dell knew how to solve it;

A knowledge base at Dell that was so outdated, that it lacks correct information about how to disabled speech recognition;

3 broken cd roms shipped to me in a row.

My computers should be renamed Hell, because that's what Dell has put me through.

When I called Dell's India call center, they could not fix my computer but they do make a mean Curried Chicken.

And to think, I'm a professional who deals with data on a regular basis. While I'm no techie, I'm much more technically oriented than the average worker. If a relative genius like me can't deal with Dell, you haven't got a prayer.

Oh, and best of all, when I escalated the issues to the so called "CEO Appeal Hotline" I learned that the only thing that unit is authorized to do is waste time.

When Dell blames Microsoft, that's another half truth. It's true that Windows is about as stable as my high school prom date; and that after I've been using Windows, I'd like to jump out one.

The leaders of these firms, Michael Dell and Bill Gates, don't care. But maybe if the Texas geek negotiated better with the dork from the North, Dell's customers would not get hurt.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Michael Dell is the most prominent Jew in Texas. And I understand your shock because, like Mike, I'm Jewish too. But Jews like Michael Dell and I are reluctant Jews; "Jew Lite" if you will. So while Dell is bleeding me dry, Mike's making $1 million + donations to Jewish organizations in Texas with my hard earned Jewish dollars.

I say this: when Michael Dell screws over a fellow Jew he's not only a blemish to himself but to our entire self-loathing race.

Remember, that I began as the most diehard of Dell customers and slowly evolved into a Dell victim. As a research professional exploited by Dell Computers, I can assure you that there's at least a good probability that Dell will hurt your business if you buy their products. You'd truly be better off building your own pc from scratch.

Put it another way: I don't mind getting screwed; I'd just like to get some flowers first.

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